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Your message sounds like an attempt at revisionism, which has occasionally characterized you in the past but only at the proverbial trapped corner. That's good though, I am one of the few Americans who considers such a thing to be assert. To briefly expound, I feel revisionism is an endearing if mildly dangerous quality given that the alternatives one usually sees are the much more American qualities of lack of responsiveness (#1), scampering off, a deepening of inset passive-aggressive tendencies, occasionally (but rarely) aggression, dismissiveness, and competition.

What you're meaning to say is a completely temporary (or post contemporary?) vantage point. When you type modernism and postmodernism in the same sentence you're instead referring to the difference between T.S. Eliot and Thomas Pynchon, to pick a literary example, or Pablo Picasso and Andy Warhol, to pick a visual example.

Music certainly predates preliterate cultures. Bird song is one example. Monkeys will bang on hollow logs.

Strong emotions are association with evolution.

Music is strongly associated with attracting mates, but there are many ways to do so and this is just one of the many uses of music.

Motherese is considered by some people to be the source of music and there is a lot of biological, if not necessarily chronological, truth in this matter. A fetus can hear 20 weeks before birth, for example.

I know many things about how human beings relate to biology because it's one of my interests and I've made breakthroughs in this field that I'll never be fiscally compensated for. But that's not the point-- the point is I know things about you that you do not know.

For example, if you happen to be around the sound of water after orgasm you'll feel content and much prefer the sound of this water to no sound at all if you were able to shut it off. Also when reduced to the post-orgasmic state, which is the most childish state an adult male can be reduced to, you will even as a gay male who is highly biased towards craving masculinity in the selected other (aren't most of them?) detest the sound of the male voice in music. But you'll prefer the sound of female music to no music at all. In this state you are most partial to female voices and percussion, not electronics and men.

Try it, I guarantee you will want to shut off Modestep or even your favorite crooner in a second were you to try playing that after such incidence. Try playing Swing da Cor by Daniela Mercury, which is an example of axé, and you will prefer the sound of this music (or just the whole self-titled album) to no sound at all.

It's because of the connection to motherese. If you play Swing da Cor in the post-orgasmic state you will not only see this all to be true but will the primeval lure of music will become enhanced, and it's because the post-orgasmic state is also a link to the primeval. Some of the pre-orgasmic states are as well but that belongs in an entirely different discussion.

Freud and Shakespeare (he liked to pun on dying as orgasm) were on the right track when they linked the sex drive with the death drive because of the 'reset' that occurs and especially the sadness in particular that so handily follows onanism, but they were products of their very unhappy epistemes and missed the mark and the possibilities. Plus they were never interested in Levi-Strauss-- the writer not the denim-- or albums like Mutter by Rammstein. I'm pretty fortunate to be able to swig German musik because it's the language of Dichters and (und) Denkers. I think it's complimented really well by my second strongest, which is Spanish… In Duolingo, which is the best measuring gauge of my ability that is available to me, I'm level 10 on German and level 9 on Spanish, level 8 in French, level 7 in Portuguese, and level 6 in Italian (which I had to scrape for) so it's clear that the most conservative language is the hardest for me to latch onto. There's a huge difference between 6 and 10. What does this mean-- a lot of things. The problem is every time I have something to say four more things spring out of the ground to say, always. It's not really a problem but in a simple capitalist economy with a heavily American twist it is a bit of a liability to say the least.

Does that answer your question sufficiently or lead to any tangential or more deeply curious questions?

I could write much else on the place of the human voice but to stay political-- the most dangerous and frightening human music lacks it. Even the most hateful neo-Nazi music--think of some doofus who might have told you 'Screwdriver is awesome man!'-- had nothing on the sound of brass or some of that shit that plays at sporting events, which is related to brass but also goes in some derpy directions. Do not forget that during WWII sports did not stop in Europe at all, and the Germans would shift teams around and compete with the USSR during the conquering of the Ukraine (eventually if a pesky Ukrainian team kept winning, as did happen, you wrote off the game in Romania and send them to be executed).

There are very obvious reasons why brass, not strings, are a natural pairing with armies as well. Nobody has ever gone into battle to the tune of 'kill them all'. Do silly Metallica or Godsmack make people want to kill, no not all all, although Godsmack songs are used by the US Armed forces on television to lure people into joining the armed forces by appealing to their love of masculinity. One could not picture such a song luring people into battle, however, and that's the crucial difference and is the most Manichean conclusion I have for you in regard to the role of the human voice.

And I'm going to relate this back here to something I've been pointing out on the net lately-- 58% of Americans do not know what tracking is in the latest polls. Not only does this portion not know, they 'know nothing at all' about the primary source of their energy these days.
What they do know is if they plug something into the wall, electricity comes out-- they think. At any rate, stuff still plugs in, and at any rate they feel like they could really use some more money.
10 November 2013 @ 12:59 am
I was feeling a little lonely tonight, but having taught myself German has actually come in handy because I was listening to Klee's Jelängerjelieber album and because I can understand the lyrics, I was inspired to think up my own thought that the universe is speaking all the time in so many ways, even in music and books, and in people I have not met, and in people who are here now through the internet and who are entertaining me tonight, and so I am never alone. I get to choose which information is the newest and the most informative, and the world is nearly endless, so there is no reason to ever feel the world around me is inadequate. It is there and it is talking in so many different and interesting ways.

Putting myself through trying to pull words out of the throat of members of society who haven't put forth the effort of inputing themselves with information and ideas and beauty... giving a responsive ear to people who assume I've never come in contact with whatever they're currently just discovering or presently excited about-- this is no longer adequate and is just going to make me lonelier. These people are not conversing, though they do not realize this, because talking to somebody involves goodwill to that person as an individual, not goodwill primarily to the ideology or desires being subscribed to or implemented. This is the crucial difference between writing on a wall and having conversation. We need public writing but a conversation must be approached evenhandedly. Understanding that the recipient may already thoroughly understand and even agree with the information being provided is another condition of talking to someone. Without such understanding one is primarily speaking to the self.

Vielen Dank, Jelängerjelieber! Also I love the line in Mein Geheimnis about wearing your mirror through the world.

Das hier ist für alle die,
Die es verstehn
Die in der Tragik der Tragik
Das Schöne sehn
Das hier ist für alle die

Die sich verliern
Die in der Freiheit der Freiheit
Nicht kapituliern
Das hier ist für alle die,
Die alles geben
Die romantisch und voller Mut
Für den einen Tag leben

I feel like the possibilities of life are kind of endless right now if I reach deeply enough and sort through a lot of the red comets that I've been saving up, and that's a really good state of mind to be in.

Ideology is a dangerous and biting beast is what this all boils down to, not that it should be boiled down.
12 minutes ago

Also as Slavoj Zizek has written, the nature of ideology is such that when a person thinks they are finally free of ideology they are actually most under its spell.
29 October 2013 @ 03:59 pm
I've been thinking about what I've been wanting to write. Maybe I need to journal first - I'm at this strange crux where Spanish and German are finally truly becoming natural to me, and where I'm feeling a bit like Bob Dole. Cultural roles for men aren't designed to allow anything approaching feelings, so trying to locate a touchstone to begin with has proven impossible. Things I want to write vs. logic and reason -- seem to be totally at odds. What I want to write is logically chaotic, disrespectful towards cultural subalterns, salacious, and edging on physical violence so how can I put it into words? My rational side says, don't.

I often long to just be locked in a plain white room with lots of time to think and sort myself out. It's why I'm always jealous a bit of friends who have spent some time getting their Sylvia Plath on or even those who've flirted with jail time, as I'd never allow myself to do that.

Anyhow I'm going to go see Skinny Puppy in Miami in Feburary.

I just finished Hillary Clinton's book. She used to be president of the Young Republicans. A Clinton presidency would be disasterous to the environment, would not be as full of public options as even a Nixon presidency, and would be full of a lot of international meddling... but otherwise good. She also might be a bit too cocksure. I'd take her over Joe Biden but not an Elizabeth Warren.
15 October 2013 @ 08:41 pm
Sometimes it's hard to see the positive because some people are so belligerent and demeaning and controlling and this and that. At least for me it's really hard sometimes; I still get suicidal thoughts every now and then, though not nearly as much as I used to.

But good stuff is all over the place, from the awesome gifts Erina sent me to Melissa working hard for a better Wisconsin to being invited to a campfire cookout on Saturday by Jeanice and to the work people are putting in on opening raw vegan restaurants and their charity organizations. And just for lunch today I had a really thoughtful waitress who actually talked up to me as an adult, which is actually really rare for me. White must make me look older. : )

I had a revelation today that part of being an adult means forgiving people for not having read every book on the planet and for not knowing what's appropriate or effective, and for a lack of gentility. And that part of why I can do this is that I've realized that even intelligent people and people committed to good causes, such social justice, can be corrupt and wicked because of the sources of power they've found in that movement. It's that way with a lot of Christians so why should it be any different with people who have a PhD from Berkeley, for example. And what life is going to have to come down to is building self-confidence for myself, because there's no external way it's going to come about, as much as I might wish that to be true.
15 October 2013 @ 08:40 pm
Today's my 9th day in a row, Friday will be my 12th and I think I'm off after that. I don't mind, I'm actually hoping it'll just continue though with overtime this weekend again as I really need the income. I used to always get a thrill of excitement back when the USPS would make me work Christmas Eve and 60 hour weeks during holidays and all that because not only was it time and a half but also I do kind of well with neurotic extremism-- to me it's a nice change from the socialized corporate slop of a dysfunctional 8-5... it especially was back in the day because being from a divorced family, I've been expected to attend as many as three to four Christmases a year, some full-day knock-down marathons of sitting around with retired or lazy people who move at the pace of a snail, so even the thought of Christmas makes me want to puke. One year I actually did start vomiting, repeatedly, in some nice mansionhome my sister-in-law's sister's boyfriend had that we went to for yet another Christmas celebration, when my anxiety got the best of me and I had deluded myself into thinking my controlling dad gave me a giant caffeine overdose via a breathmint...

My dad once was pretty clever in pointing out going on 10 years ago that what-- socialized health care-- corporate jobs are already 'socialized' not in the sense of socialist development so much but in the sense than any bozo in the job is paid equally to any producer in the same slot, so wages are 'socialized' -- it's not 'merit-based compensation'. And I think the Peter Principle makes it clear that promotions aren't effectively tied to merit either.

I'm rather emotional lately, rather on the negative or longing side of things, but I think that's my emotions trying to get me out of work and away from facing future responsibilities in job-hunting, career-planning, and apartment-locating, so I'm banking on self-awareness of what's going on with me emotionally to carry me through.

I had a cup of coffee for lunch and I've been considering what a bad coffee 'trip' is kind of like. I was waiting for the happiness boost of it to kick in and instead got a few flashes of anger. When I get home I'd like to clear time to consider how emotions, moods, and sexual impulses are tied to language. I read The Joy Luck Club once by Amy Tan and I made notes on some of the vocab while reading it... she translated Chinese words into a sort of English equivalent (we lack the direct equivalents in our language). Her book made me really aware of how emotions are in many ways programmed by culture and one's mother tongue. My goal of course is to work myself up into a state in which I can either find some useful foreign words to reflect upon when I consider what emotions / states are pouring over me or flowing through me, or to even key out some sort of legend for myself... to really consider truly *how* I feel. Because the words aren't there right now. For example, as a sketch to get me started, I might write:

F1 - worriedlustfullonging
F2 - drunkworriedaboutbecomingmoreschizobrainbreakingdownfromallthecaffeinenegativityarguingpoliticsandnowglassofredwinedoi have control of myself?
F3 - pleaseiwanttosleepmorethisfeelssogoodbutihavetogotoworkwhyamisotiredthismorningdidn'tisleepalotmorethannormaliwenttobedearlyisitallthesittingorwhat'shappeningihopesomethingsnotwrongi'llhavetoconsiderthislater
F4 - feelssonicetobewalkinginsteadofsittingjustenjoythatforfifteenminutesitsyourbreakyoudon'tneedtobereadingordoinganythingelsethisishealthy
F5 - worriedselfdoubtingbutoverpoweredbyRESOLVE
F6 - proudbutnotsomuchpridejustrememberitsmissionaccomplishedofhavingshutoutmentalstatic

of course, even as I type this, I then could and do proceed to analyze and reduce these 'emotions' to a general pattern or tone, with a lot of emphasis obviously being on worry, and I would wonder can this be described as anxiety-- something my father said he had and always said that I too inherited and is the reason I should be on Trazodone (which I always resisted and never let him succeed in putting me on).

So already I've accomplished something here, I believe.

The goal of course is to actually generate, write, or create (all three being very different modes of production) some really awesome positive emotions that I or others have not experienced before and therefore bring them into this world for the thrill of something new and ultimately for the greater good. Mental note: clear space and time to do this.

Having just typed all of the above, I feel rather more positive now. I'm now going to focus on getting some more of this data entered, my boss is checking in at 4:00 and I really feel an impulse to show I have more than I've currently achieved by then, because he knows I'm more skilled than many employees and therefore he expects more out of me. Not really 'fair' but this is the Odyssey, still, in 2013, so what is?
05 October 2013 @ 09:42 am
Oh, I don't think I'd feel comfortable with that superlative as applied to dharma at all, maybe just in my case though. Some sort of refinement of others is more important, such as what teachers do in a classroom or what we as a society do as a whole, but that also hinges on society and its openness and what degree the herd bias is at insofar as cognitive biases are concerned.

One individual couldn't have stopped the Spanish Inquisition -- so running from the social orthodoxy of Christians and their apologists at that time would also have been the most sensible thing to do.

I had a dream last night about how contingency plans become accepted as truths or essential pieces to the puzzle, which creates an ever-expanding matrix serving the Big Other(s) in which we all have to individually navigate and therefore the truth is lost.

Basically people forget that contingencies are contingencies -- and contingencies lead to more contingencies -- but people can't always see that the contingencies are as such, they see them as truth or essential pieces to the frame.

And a contingency can really warp people, which I'm sure you can sense and is why you asked me to burn some books-- because you don't like those contingency plans. But I'm worried about what lurks out there and worried that it might go to waste as well, because why would life-force (Sarah Palin has a lot of it) have generated it if something weren't missing? Lacan would calls this the hunt for objet petit a. I have a way of neutralizing the unknown by getting scholastic with it. But maybe I'm like Pierre Curie and I'm highly radioactive and just don't know it.

I won't know until I find out!

My dream last night has re-centered me with ideals that were programmed into me throughout childhood but may be right nevertheless. They may be nearly impossible to achieve in our current society and so I feel like I am somewhat forgiven in not living up to them or in wayward thoughts and actions. However this in no way permits me an abreaction or absolves me of a moral implication in generating change so that other people in generations to follow may have an easier time with it all.

A lot of people do not generate the reform needed because they feel that creating an easier time for people is also creating a loss. I just saw on the Huffington Post this morning that Madonna was raped on the rooftop of a building in NYC, which is drawn as a link to her success. I think when surveyed the majority of Americans unfortunately say something like 'a swift kick in the ass' is what young people need. I think that's because the sex drive is linked to the death drive and a lot of bitter old people will only be able to grab their prey once they've first had society boot it into the mud. It's really toxic. Social progress is hindered by bitter, randy old old folks is what I'm saying here. Not that young people are perfect either...

Also I think the Miley Cyrus - Sinéad O'Connor brawl that's all the rage in the media right now illustrates the problem with both.

Less didacticism is what the world needs now, which is why I like music that's lyrically more like this-- though I like the tentatively healing tone of the electronics, too. (insert video clip of 2 Fragen by Klee) Totally different from Miley Cyrus who will give the people want they want and Sinéad O'Connor who will tell people what she believes to be right, which is why there is this current debate about 'slut-shaming' in regard to Miley Cyrus.

After all if we set things 'right' without making space for sluts in the media, won't 'slut-shaming' always exist? But then if we do make space for sluts, aren't we expanding the frame of the universe in a way that may be unhealthy and neurotic and fractious?

I don't have the answer yet... do you? That's not a rhetorical question, it's an earnest question in the search for answers.
I was thinking today of all the people who've ever told me that I couldn't do the jobs they do, or that what I do for work is evil, or that getting a mortgage on Madison's lowest-priced duplex in the non-white neighborhood makes me questionably oppressive, and all the other intimations that my lower middle class behavior / near subsistence living has crossed a lot of lines that I haven't deserved to cross. Of how useful that's been to them, as well as their conceptions of self nobility, and how much of a hinderance that's been to me in finding a place in the world. It seems like it's been quite out of line when directed at me, somebody who's always been perfectly clear about drawing observations of his own towards his own ethical ambiguity and possible culpability in all the situations he might find himself.

Anyhow, it's been destructive...it's hard for me to see it any other way from my current station and perspective. Social flippancy regarding intoxicants has been destructive. Leftist squabbling with leftists have been destructive. A lack of love has been destructive. A 'we can't change whole economic systems of production to the polar opposite so fuck everything' social attitude has been destruction. Sexual tension and lack of friendship between myself and other gay men has been destructive. A promiscuous gay culture has been destructive. Academics have been destructive, and the way people with higher degrees than me have taken a down the nose tone of voice with me. It's happened a lot, it's lost me some dates -- in which I knew I was both the cute one and the smart one and willing to be generous and willing to behave as their no. 2, even...but my lack of a future, aka lack of higher education, landed me out of the running. I finally understand what my dad was always getting at with how people with degrees think they're better than other people, and while I still wish that this wouldn't have led him to the conclusion that I shouldn't go to college, I understand how he felt emotionally, now. I do wish I had gone on towards at least a Masters, but I also don't dwell on the past much. I's kind of nice to see the hard truth, too, in which what is called learning is about the prestige or the money. I have learning. I have interest. Where are the academics getting excited over what I'm reading or wanting to talk to me about it? No, that's not on the career path, too busy for that is the excuse, but I've been a strong reader even when landlording and working two jobs.

We shouldn't be such an accusatory society and I wish people weren't so quick to dismiss others. I hold onto people even when they're blatantly offensive if I think they have good intentions and plasticity.

I think a lot of people in academia are as righteous as Christians in their own way, in which everything is pointed at and called evil at one point or another, almost blindly, with no empathy or deeper understanding towards what it's like to actually be in those situations. Even a few weeks away from the internet in Texas gave me some understanding of how much different life is when you're not electric energy tapped straight from the internet as I often am. I consider the righteous looks and words I've been on the receiving end of when I've still never known what it feels like to be in a job I'm passionate about or best suited for. I never grew up intending to go into the funeral insurance industry, which in itself mostly exists because of religious reverence.

My last roommate told me 'all insurance is evil' which was very harsh and which I certainly disagree with, especially given what recreational behavior is like for most people and how dangerous the world is. But then I was watching clowns in wrestling masks today on tv and I guess the world doesn't make any sense, so you'd think I'd have more acceptance of irrational, destructive behavior by people at this point. I'm not trying to bash academics as I have the most reverence for the college system, but it helps me to get it off my chest that I don't think they're exactly the most equitable towards either the slaves who enable their lifestyles or towards people they share the community with. At least there is usually a lot to them.

I'm the first to admit my flaws to people and it seems like this brings out the aggressive behavior, and I'm not certain why it should be that way other than that people are irrational and that they're always looking for more. Why are some people so dissatisfied with the world that a Drachenfutter approach makes them more aggressive? What is it? Maybe it's just their own situations... it must be... as ultimately I'm the one who wants a greater or more extremist degree of social re-orientation.

When people call for riots it's clear that they've never laid sidewalk or glass for less than a living wage, and when people call for revolution it often seems like too many movies have been consumed or a bad dream has just been entered. Especially because I know I've always voted further to the left than most people are willing to go, while trying to keep up the here and now as well, and because I'm often written off as naive or a drip so often in politics. As if anybody like me would ever be in charge, so I don't need salt in that wound. In general I should step away from politics as there's so much negativity in the atmosphere, currently, and unwillingness to listen. Didn't it used to be about staying cool and writing an insightful letter? I know the big money in politics has ruined this approach in most ways, though.

I sometimes feel like any number of people from both the corporate and academic world have pointed out that I'm riding a higher horse than they think I should be on, and yet in every situation it is a person living a more decadent and materialist lifestyle than myself. A lot of people can't control their excess, but to have it taken out on me has been unfair. I don't really know what it's like to let loose, much. I'm pretty virginal. I don't own tv or cable. My phone is the cheapest you've ever seen. I don't have pets. I don't have guns. I've never bought drugs. I've never bought furniture, except for used queen-sized beds and a few chairs from Goodwill. I've never bought fun antiques or vintage delights. I've lived in crappier places than most everybody I know. I own less than almost everybody I know. I stay home all the time. My home in every situation has been smaller than that of people who have given me a few slaps on the cheek. I'm overly sensitive so I freak out. And yet as people might paint it, I'm out of line even when wanting to be considered a social equal because I haven't 'earned' my spot. No wonder I'm so fearful, but that mostly traces back to my dad and childhood, too.

I see people harshly snapping at others in unfair ways all the time and I always bite my tongue, and this is a flaw-- why don't I stand up and say 'hey, how would you feel if somebody treated you that way?' Fear, I suppose.

It's weird how people have tried to spin my scrap of a living as a goldmine I don't deserve or am exacting rape from, too, especially when they're staying in fancier hotels and homes than I'm privy to. My idea of a vacation has always been the cheapest flight on the market and a lot of hostels. So I don't know what it's like to be a bigger spender. Merely spending yourself into a bigger hole than me doesn't mean you get to call me a capitalist oppressor. If you take advantage of what capitalism has to offer more than I do, own more than me, or are more decadent than me, you probably need to start with the man in the mirror rather than pointing fingers at somebody who has been easily further to the left of Al Gore since inception, basically. My dad ran up excessive debt, too, and called for sympathy, so it's naturally hard for me to have that sort for anyone. Not that I feel harsh towards them either, but I guess it's not the most fortuitous situation to feel like some people feel like I need to earn an in with them because I don't have as much money and other people feel like I need to earn an in because I don't have as much debt. Everybody wants to swing the system so bad one way or another that they forget to act human.

I have had very few situations in which somebody has said 'Jason, you deserve to be earning more' or in which somebody has spotted my talent and thought I deserve a promotion. I've only gotten one promotion in my life anyway, and it was only because two people quit at once and there was nobody else. But then some people have assisted me in a career sense, too, before I think too pessimistically about my existence, such as Anastasia or Michael Leonard in Texas. Life in the USA seems like a lot of people have very strong subliminal death drives and it becomes harder when these bleed over onto and interfere with my sense of self and my willpower to do better for myself. People have reassured me that I look good but I don't need that, I need the right career for myself and something to really devote myself to. Or even a career that's middle class, or on the high end of lower-middle class, something. I guess many people want something better for themselves and that's why they snap at me... because maybe it seems like I'm not doing so bad. But I've always maintained that other people deserve better so I guess that why I've had a hard time coping with accusations lobbed my way and ruminated on them so much... putting myself through mental torture and anxiety is something that comes naturally to me. It's hard to understand my situation a lot of times because the world is so full of playtime and playthings and getting away from that seems to be harder than anything. I wouldn't know how to handle networking over a game of golf. I don't know how to make small talk about sports in the office... I'd rather talk about something cultural or work-related.

That what's been going around in my head lately and hopefully it's of some value to have written about it. Anyhow, I start my $10 / an hr position tomorrow. I'm pretty fearful of what's in store for me but I'm a fearful sort of personality. I'm going to keep applying and get to other interviews when I can. I'm also considering a 2nd job at nights, but I'll see how this one goes first.

I also need to remember that I'm mostly free of from accusations here in Florida, at least so far, which is a blessing. As I've said a few times since moving, I actually do feel better about being around unintellectual people than the dystopia of being around inflexible intelligent people who aren't responding to anything I have to say or desire, which often felt to be the case in the Upper Midwest... a stubbornness and determination, there, just like in the American Gothic painting.

I know Florida is on the nation's list of scorn lately due to the media, but we're hardly Texas or most of the deep South, and hardly Wisconsin even when it comes to humane treatment of animals and some other issues. It seems like we might ultimately end up more billboard-free than back home... I wish people would have wanted to join me on an anti-billboard crusade as they should be banned in all states, like they are in Vermont. Maybe that seemed like too much of a pipe dream to them. In Florida, people are generally laid-back and in the pursuit of happiness, it seems. I don't see why any long-timer here would want to even bother with trying to guilt-trip me, something I am very easy prey to. Probably it's easier to see how people have hurt me than how I've hurt them, but I do know I've always wished and advocated for the people in my life to have a higher station, as that's what would come natural to me. And it's also what I want for myself; I just haven't gotten there yet. Right now I feel like I'm at the lower wage in my whole social circle.

I'm feeling ill with a cold. I want to be a better person and do better for myself. I wish I weren't so fearful and easily manipulated, but at least I can see my own flaws fairly well, most of the time. After living with that snappish nut in South Austin I'm determined to approach the world with a more positive attitude, and I guess balancing that out with facing accusation and criticism sent my way is the real sweet spot / test of making my inner self connect with the outer world in a smoother way.
31 August 2013 @ 01:19 am
sitcoms: the party to which you're not even invited
31 August 2013 @ 01:08 am
Here's what I'm thinking: coding / web-design / finance / insurance with my strengths

landlording and investing in my spare times

music / acting / writing / poetry and dance as non-profit-oriented subavocations
28 August 2013 @ 10:05 pm
sometimes bad things deserve to happen to bad places
I still haven't decided who I hate more though, the Me Generation (boomers)
or their spawn, the Me Me Me Me Generation (Millennials)
it's like do you hate the root or the flower